Possible Bumper Sticker:

"In germany, I was funny, although it's not hard to be funny in a country of unfunny people."

(Lifted from an email from a friend.)

Greatest. Ethnic. Joke. Ever.

True story;

A little while ago we were at a friend's wedding - a russian couple. We were in the wedding party, along with quite a few of their russian friends. During photos the photographer was directing everyone around in the typical fashion; "You, go stand next to that bench. You, over by the wall. You two, sit in the middle. You, next to that pole."

At which point I said: "Hang on, you can't have a russian standing next to a pole."

No one got it, though. Strange.

The Dear Departing.

Overheard in airport;

Security: "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

Passenger: "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

Security: "That's why we ask."

Must've Been A Big Veal...