Fuck This Shit.

What the fuck?

Like Applesauce And Condoms,

...it's a perfect combination of sarcasm, math, and ridiculing another's belief system.

http://scienceblogs.com/goodmath/2007/10/book_review_the_faith_equation.php

That's his last post, but the rest is also a gold mine.

I love this guy.

Finally, Something I Can Love.

Hatebook.

Reason #427 Why I Don't Live In America

Products like this.

Interesting Photos From Around Perth (5)

And sometimes it's just nice to know that people won't take themselves too seriously when ripping off a well-known brand.

Interesting Photos From Around Perth (4)

Of course, sometimes it's just nice to know that funny names were once all-too-real.

Interesting Photos From Around Perth (3)

Sometimes a familiar name turns up in the strangest place.

(Though how "walking on" became a sign respect is beyond me.)

Interesting Photos From Around Perth (2)

Lord knows where he puts the glasses.

Interesting Photos From Around Perth (1)

"World's smallest construction site office."

Genius At Work.

(Though not at my work.)

Layer Tennis is a fascinating little competition run every year, usually between competing graphic designers. It explains itself, so I won't bother.
My favourite would have to be the mock-facebook:



I may have to set up such a web site.

A Constructive Dialog.

Computers irritate me. Long ago I searched for the ultimate nirvanic computing experience, though I have long since resigned myself to being irritated less.

The source of the irritation, I believe, is that computers are designed by people. Ordinary people. People like you and me (well, not like me. I wouldn't have made some of the fartblastingly stupid decisions that they have, but there you go).

The thing is, ordinary people come up with things like this:



Is this a problem? An inscrutable title, meaningless buttons, and a half paragraph of exposition? Is there a problem here? Many would say "This isn't unusual at all," and you would simply be avoiding the question - familiarity doesn't eliminate problems, it just makes them easier to ignore. The cumulative effect of poor design is an overall poor experience.

What pains me is that many such examples are actually not very difficult to solve. Twelve seconds of effort on my part produced the following:


Not particularly extraordinary (and not without it's flaws), though immediately clearer and easier to understand.

The problem, as I said, is not that these issues are difficult. Rather, it is that they are not being addressed correctly, if at all. The design decisions for each of these simple interactions with the user are falling into a black hole, and are dragging us simple users with them.

Needless to say, I am still irritated.

A Vista To A Kill.

I was recently lucky enough to purchase a shiny new laptop for my father, and have managed to spend a little time with the preinstalled software, including Microsoft Windows Vista Fuck You Edition (Home).

As someone that values my opinion, I feel it is important that it is shared with others.

Let me start with the following disclaimer: I am a Mac user. I am unashamedly a fan of the Macintosh, and I wholeheartedly support their use and proliferation. Mostly it's the ease of maintenance, though the general aesthetic appeals to me as well. I should say, however, that I have always been partial to both Windows 2000 and Windows XP. Though somewhat clunky, a properly managed Windows XP computer can be quite productive. Practically speaking, I would prefer to recommend a Linux-based operating system to a Windows one, though I have a hard time convincing people to try tzimmes, let alone something "different".

Windows Vista appears (to me) to be modeled around an entirely new paradigm of human-computer interaction: the "trying to convince a crack addicted whore with tourettes to pee on a hyperactive chihuahua" method. It's not something I'm personally used to, though I'm interested to see how well it works in practice.

I am, however, curious as to whether any actual *people* attempted to use this computer before selling it. A whole host of irritances - in both the operating system and the "bundled" software - combine to create a truly frustrating experience. Were "illogicalities" a word, then I'm sure they would describe such design decisions.

Clearly this "product" is the result of a mismanaged design process. Not only does the end result appear to have been cobbled together from a bunch of disparate pieces of work, but at every possible decision point they have chosen "frustrating" over "easy".

Not all of the blame lies with Vista - many of the issues are a result of the crapware supplied and added preinstalled by the manufacturer. This is, however, irrelevant to me as a user - hard work from both groups have combined to create the "Worst User Experience Of The Year".

God help the next ten years of computing, though I suspect that Vista will prove to be quite an opportunity to it's competitors.

Here are some absurdities:
- twenty different pieces of "bundled" software, all branded by the manufacturer, and each as useless as the next. Before I removed them, the machine took almost five minutes to boot. Five. Actual. Minutes.
- Microsoft bundling their own spyware remover. This is akin to an unlimited supply of haemmorhoid cream; It may make you a little more comfortable, but it won't really stop the problem from coming back in the future, and you just wish you didn't need it in the first place.
- The organisation of settings and preferences follows no logical or intuitive pattern. At all. There are five ways to access any single setting, though none of them are obvious, or even understandable.
- A constant barrage of UAC messages ("It looks like you have pressed a button. For your security, Windows would like to confirm that you have pressed this button. Have you pressed this button? If you did not press this button then please go cry in a corner, because it's already too late.")

Don't even get me started on the endless inconsistencies in the user interface - build a usable system first.

If anyone important actually has a chance to read this: I will gladly consult, for free, to anyone with the power to improve Vista. I will tell you exactly what needs to be fixed, and what it should be changed to. The absurd thing about making a usable computer is that, quite honestly, it's not that hard. It just takes patience, and a little foresight.

Now if you'll excuse me, my laptop is still booting.

Hi, and welcome to Men's Hairdresser Co.

Would you like to sit in:

• Awkward silence
• Uncomfortable silence
• Stilted silence
• Disturbed silence
• Silence occasionally punctuated by shrieks and squeals from the receptionist on the phone, reminiscent of a hyena

Note: Please remain completely and utterly motionless for the duration of your haircut. As a service to our customers we actively avoid both conversation and eye contact.

English: The Global Language.

Never has it been more important to consider your marketing from as many angles as possible. There's a fine line between edgy and Just Plain Wrong, but linguistic ignorance is a poor excuse for crossing over.

TrekStor's new mp3 player, while creatively named, clearly wasn't evaluated from the point of view of anyone that speaks English particularly well. Though the gaff was quickly fixed, the reaction was reminiscent of the Nissan Pajero.

I wonder, though, if "Holden" in Chinese actually means "forbidden pleasure cavity", and how soon it will be before we (in Australia) will need to worry about such things.

I Am Saddened.

By this. Do not misunderstand; this is a glorious achievement in user interface design, and an adorable video, but I'm saddened that a phone that a child can use is a cause for celebration.

What if the same principle were applied to cars? Or cutlery?

Have we such low standards?

The Contents of this Post May Offend.

How do you know when to be offended? And, as an extension, how do you know how offended to be?

Pulp Fiction references aside, is "taking offence" at a comment out of our control? I hardly think so.

Firstly, how often do you feign or exaggerate offence so as to play what you think to be your expected role in the community? How many men actually feel that Kevin Rudd entering a strip club renders him as "morally bankrupt" as they seem to claim?

And then, how does one gauge how much offence to take? If I overhear a racist comment should I scream and holler, or just pretend it didn't happen?

(As an aside, I would have very little problem with racist jokes per se, were more of them actually funny. A colleague spent a short time calling me "Jew" in the office, while I responded with various comments about his own ancestry, though the phase was short-lived. We moved on not because either of us took offence, but because it just wasn't very funny.)

From another point of view, many comedians use racial and religious insensitivities as a part of their routine, but how do they know where to draw the line?

I'm sure all these questions can be answered in terms of context, but I find it interesting that, more often than not, many people seem to view taking offence at a comment as a "safe option". I think this is a shame, as such laziness of the mind actually lowers my opinion of their ability to think independently. One could even argue that this leads to a rise in conservatism, but I believe it simply makes genuinely offensive comments (and people) more difficult to spot.

Reciprocation.

"Bastard."

My Desk Is A War Zone.

"Fuck you.

Just...

Fuck. You."

Overheard While Churning.

One mouse turns to another and says;

"Don't you think it's odd that we're talking to each other in a fairly straightforward manner, in clear English? I mean, we are mice. We should just be, you know, crawling around on the floor, eating cheese."

"You're right," replied the second mouse. "But if we weren't able to talk, then you wouldn't be asking me that question. So how can we even be aware that the alternative exists if we wouldn't be able to question it? Perhaps we have always been able to talk, and being unable to talk is merely a false memory, imprinted by years of repression and abuse. Or perhaps it is simply the anthropic principle at work, though without a written record we're unable to say for sure."

"Wow." Said the first mouse. "You are a dick."

Is It? Already? Wow.

A woman walks up to a man in a bar and says;

"Hi there. I've got a whole bunch of jokes about men, mostly intimating that they are intellectually inferior to women. Would you like to hear them?"

"No," says the man, and he turned back to his mates to continue getting pissed and watching cricket.